 The Age of Orlando Your amusement park strategy will depend on the company you keep. by Lou Harry
You’d think that question would be a no-brainer. After all, with the time I’ve spent strapped into rides, standing in lines, and taking pictures of my kids with people in animal and superhero costumes, you’d think I could rattle off an easy list of must-sees and must-dos. Well, it’s not so simple. You see, Disney and Universal are both great places to have fun. But each transforms depending on your age—and the ages of those you are traveling with.
Four years ago, on a multi-family trip to Orlando, we all made a stop into DisneyQuest, Downtown Disney’s interactive amusement arcade. With our group ranging from age 2 to 62, the place was overwhelming, loud, unmanageable, and, frankly, frustrating. On the next trip, though, my 8- and 11-year-old girls and I took an evening run to DisneyQuest on our own. We designed roller coasters on a computer—and then rode our creations in a motion simulator. We boarded a shuttle and, as a team, did battle against an onslaught of evil aliens. We rafted down a virtual river. Surprise: The hours there became a distinct highlight of our trip.
In fact, I fully expect to be visiting these parks well after I retire. And it’s very likely there will be trips where I don’t ride a single ride. Disney World, after all, has five full golf courses on property—plus a nine-hole walking course and two sets of miniature golf links. Or you can relax in style at the Grand Floridian or Saratoga Springs’ spas. You can even go fishing, whether with a cane-pole from a Fort Wilderness dock or on a guided catch-and-release excursion from the Grand Floridian Resort. Trophy-sized bass lurk in these waters, waiting for you to find them.
There certainly is something for everyone. Things get complicated, though, when you try to juggle the needs and desires of different constituencies. I’ve learned—sometimes the hard way—that a guaranteed formula for a bad time at the amusement parks is to try to do everything. “So,” my friend asks again, “what should we definitely do?” Here’s my answer:
» Understand your party. Has everyone been to the park before? If no, then you want to make sure to cover all the worlds of the Magic Kingdom. If yes, then consider skipping the tried-and-true and blazing new trails. » Know your priorities. De-termine the first choices of each person in the group and create a plan that covers all of that. What are the few must-experience attractions? Anything not on anyone’s list can be relegated to “if we have time” status.
» Consider your tribe’s style. The two basic strategies are: The Marathon (get there, stay as long as you can tolerate, stay longer, then return to crash at the hotel) and The Pit Stopper (go early, return to the hotel for a break when the sun is highest and the crowds are thickest, return to the park—or another attraction—in the evening).
» Go beyond the rides. It’s easy to fall into
the belief that the rides are everything. But if you’ve got smaller kids,
don’t underestimate the value of the parades and the playgrounds. Playgrounds?
Although they never seem to use the p-word in their names, such attractions
as Disney/MGM’s Honey I Shrunk the Kids Movie Set Adventure, Animal Kingdom’s
The Boneyards, and Universal’s Camp Jurassic are run-around-and-exhaust-yourself
areas where kids can be kids…and adults can have a seat.
When he isn't carting his four kids around the country in search of adventure, Lou Harry edits Indy Men's Magazine and writes humor books. Good To Know
The Layout. Walt Disney World and Universal are located about
15 miles away from each other, both southwest of downtown Orlando. Universal
is smaller and much easier to navigate—once in the main parking lot, follow
the signs to CityWalk. From there, the park divides into Universal Studios Florida
and Islands of Adventure. Disney’s a little more complicated. Allow time
to follow the signs from your point of entry into the grounds to your first
destination.
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“What should we definitely do?” an Orlando-bound friend asks, knowing
I’ve recently taken trips to both Universal Orlando (for the second time)
and Walt Disney World (for the fifth). 
If you have a party of adults, for instance, then the nightlife at Disney’s
Pleasure Island and Universal’s CityWalk may be key to your planning.
If you are a single parent with kids, Pleasure Island might as well be in Never
Never Land. Is the Country Bear Jamboree un-bear-ably corny? Sure, but if you
are 7 (and maybe if you’re 70), that’s not such a bad thing. 
A year earlier, I took those same two—and their 1-year-old brother—to
Universal Orlando. With the little guy in tow, we spent more time interacting
with costumed characters on the streets than we did on activities that required
longer attention spans. With Terminator 2: 3D and Back to the Future: The Ride
low on the priority list, we instead took repeated spins on One Fish, Two Fish,
Red Fish, Blue Fish and earned frequent flyer miles on the airborne bicycles
of the E.T. Adventure. Our days ended early. Nobody complained. A 16-year-old
on a sugar buzz might have been able to go from 8 in the morning until midnight;
not us. And let honeymooner couples sample the five-diamond fare at Disney’s Victoria &
Alberts; I knew going in that
such posh eateries would best be experienced another (childless) day.
Teenagers and adventurous elders looking for a different experience (and willing
to get up early) can take surfing lessons at Typhoon Lagoon, one of Disney World’s
two massive water parks. This one’s got a 2.75-million-gallon wave pool,
with a breaker coming by every 90 seconds or so—we’re talking three-to-six-footers—and
professionals teach before the park opens. 
» Keep time on your side. Pay attention to the signs
posted outside attractions. There are also signs at the front of some parks
showing approximate wait times for the majors. For the most part, the signs
can be trusted. This is also an area where the unofficial guidebooks can be
helpful. Don’t forget to factor in transportation. Disney has a great
system of shuttle buses—but its main priority is getting visitors from
hotels to the theme parks. Our brilliant, try-to-please-everyone plan to do
a morning at Epcot followed by an afternoon at Typhoon Lagoon was sidetracked
by the fact that apparently no one else has ever wanted to go from that particular
point A to that particular point B. It felt like we spent most of the afternoon
on the bus because, well, we did spend most of the afternoon on the bus. 
» Consider group-splitting. On the one hand, it may
seem rude to not do everything together. On the other hand, the more age-diverse
the group, the harder it will be to please everything. My wife and eldest daughter
graciously watched our son at the room so that the rest of us could take the
aforementioned DisneyQuest jaunt. On our multi-family Disney trip, my brother-in-law
knew that his twin 3-year-olds weren’t going to be able to go the distance
with their pre-teen cousins. He made it clear early on that, around 2 each afternoon,
he would be taking them back to his hotel room for naps, and that worked for
everyone. On another trip, the in-laws insisted on a sit-down breakfast for
themselves—understanding that they had no problem with my running the
kids over to Fantasyland while the lines were shorter. Such segmentation was
more challenging before cell phones. These days, reconnoiter is a breeze. We
never even used the walkie-talkies we bought for the occasion.
» Remember, you’re on vacation. This is supposed
to be fun. If you aren’t having a good time, stop, have an ice-cream cone,
and pick something else to do.
Ticketing. Generally, tickets are $45 for kids under 10 and
$55 for anyone 10 and older. Single-day tickets get you into just one park.
Multiple-day passes include admission to all parks. At Universal, there’s
a savings, and at Disney, the cost is about the same per day (less if you purchase
in advance instead of at the park gate). Prices may vary by season, whether
you’re staying on property, and other factors.